Your nuts roasting on an open fire;
Mike Pence clipping off your toe;
Your bride Carol being tongued by Paul Ryan:
Not jokes messed up like news that's faux,
Everybody knows that Trumpey with our missile codes
Helps to make these nightmares bright.
Whiny snots with red ties worn too low
Make it hard to sleep at night.
They care that Santa isn't gay.
They focus all their justices on Roe v Wade.
But every decent child and FBI
Wanna see if Putin really knew how to spy.
And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To swing states that should now be blue.
Although it's been tweeted many times, many ways,
On this Christmas, screw you.
They want to kill the working class.
These loaded good ol' boys will get us in the ass.
And every right-wing pile is gonna try
To give the sincere reason to cry.
And so I'm offering this sinful phrase
To ids who've-voted-straight-Republican since 'Ninety-Two.
Although it's been Facebooked many times, many ways,
On this Christmas, (middle finger) you.