Oh Your God

A lot of gods are bad dudes. Zeus was a total douche, for instance, and we all know that we should really just call him Zouche. That guy in the Old Testament who was into ripping open pregnant women on a genocidal level, well, let’s just say “Yikes!” about him. But the bad god that simply has to go is MAGA Jesus.

MAGA Jesus has zero interest in getting those loaves and fishes to his hungry followers. MAGA Jesus is not gonna turn his other cheek, no sirree. MAGA Jesus does not give parables about who your neighbor is, because MAGA Jesus knows that you know that that is determined by skin color, duh. MAGA Jesus throws the first stone right into the forehead of women caught in adultery. Well, I may have gone too far on that one; MAGA Jesus is way more into slut-shaming of the non-lethal variety. MAGA Jesus thinks peacemakers are cucks. Or maybe they’re snowflakes, I’m not really sure about that one either, but at any rate, I think you get the picture.

And so, I propose the following chant:

Hey hey, ho ho, MAGA Jesus has to go!

It’s fun. Sing it with me! Maybe together we can Make Jesus Great Again.